


Don't Touch That Button!: Many Misadventures of Da'Saeya

by ValAishlym



Series: Say It With Your Chest [2]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-03-26 18:35:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3860335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValAishlym/pseuds/ValAishlym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you get when you cross a naive and curious elf with the dangers of the inquisition? You get Saeya.<br/>And also whatever my brains happens to spit out.<br/>Drabbles featuring Da'Saeya "Kitten" Lavellan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bee Keeper (n/p)

**Author's Note:**

> n.p. = no pairing
> 
> As with the other series, an ampersand (&) in the Char section means those chars are shipped together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Curiosity stung the Templar.

**Chars: Cullen, Male Lavellan (Da’Saeya), Sera**

**Don’t Touch That Button!: Many Misadventures of Da’Saeya**

**Bee Keeper**

Cullen looked up when he heard light tapping against stone. He was currently towards the front of Skyhold's....well hold. Just near the steps in the outfields near the surgeons tents near the table. It was the silver haired elf coming down the stairs. He wondered to himself why the elf always wore a scarf tied tightly around his face. He guessed it was some sort of elven thing. The elf was currently preoccupied with his hair, fiddling with the edges and frowning. “Inquisitor.” That got his attention instantly. Cullen was faced with bright, wide, crimson eyes. It was a wonder why the silveret was always so fascinated even by the littlest of things. “We just received the weapon schematic for new weapons that Sera had been speaking of.”

“Weapon schematic?” The elf walked over to Cullen fully. The elf seemed to be especially interested when it came to any kind of schematic. He liked to build things and would usually be found hanging around the smithy.

Saeya looked between the taller human and the table full of jars. “Jars?” the elf picked one up as he asked. “What is in them?”

“They’ve trained bees into these small jars – Ah Sir” The elf had begun to twist the jar open. “You’re supposed to throw it at the enemy-!” He shouted quickly, but not quickly enough for the elf had already screwed the top open. With angry buzzing sound, a small cloud of Bees rose from the jar and went straight for Cullen. Da’Saeya’s eyes widened as he watched Cullen sprint away with the cloud chasing after him.

“This is the first time I’ve actually seen him move faster than the undead.” Saeya looked up slightly to see Sera sitting on the wall giggling madly.

“A little assistance would be nice,” Saeya jumped as Cullen shouted running past him again.

“Oppsie…”


	2. Kitten (n/p)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked me "Why does Varric call Da'Saeya Kitten?".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter has like 4 different drabbles in it. I think most of the drabbles in this collection will come from questions people have asked me about Saeya. You have a question about Saeya? Just ask in a comment, pm, or on my tumblr page: saeyaawrites.tumblr.com

**Char: Dorian, Varric, Cassandra, Random Orlesian Noble, Gatsi, Cullen, Josephine, Leliana,**

**Don't Touch That Button!: Many Misadventures of Da'Saeya**

**Kitten**

Da’Saeya was many things – nimble, smart, graceful, bubbly, strong, adventurous, quick, and tactical. He also could be clueless, naïve, impulsive, and easily distracted. His advisors weren’t so sure all of that mixed into one little elf was such a good thing. “I don’t really think we should allow him to just waltz right in there, it could be a trap!” Cullen exclaimed as he crossed his arms.

“It could also prove to be a great opportunity to cripple Corypheus’ red army.” Leliana put in.

“Either way, he’s going to be in danger.” Josephina added.

“I’ll be there,” Cassandra crossed her arms. “I’ll make sure all goes as plan – whatever option we take.”

“What do you think we should do, Herald?” The three advisors and Cassandra finally turned their attention to the elf, whom of which had been silent throughout the entire meeting. He was plucking at the figurines on the war table.

“Herald?” Leliana quirked an amused eyebrow when the elf suddenly looked up at them as if he were surprised they were there.

“Huh?”

“Which option would you go with?” Cullen asked, trying to convince himself that the Herald had been paying attention to them and not just playing with the figurines.

“Uhh…” Cullen sighed inwardly. So much for that…

…

..

.

“…As such, I think it is imperative that this is dealt with as soon as possible!” The noble prattled on. Da’Saeya nodded slowly. The noble made a noise of triumph as the elf nodded in affirmation.

“Who are you again?” Da’Saeya asked. They were currently towards the front of Skyhold. Da’Saeya had just walked through the gates when a random – Orlesian by the look of his clothing and the mask – noble came up to him to start complaining about something. The Orlesian noble seemed to bristle behind his mask. He was silent for a few seconds before he gave a strained laugh.

“Ah, I am Bertrand Geoffroy-Égide of the Lièvremont family. I understand how difficult it may be for you to remember such a long name, but I assure I am of the-“ Bertrand stopped speaking when he noticed the elf wasn’t in front of him anymore. He turned around several times but it seemed as if the elf either was never there or he just disappeared in thin air. He gave a loud huff. Holding his head up, he walked with purpose towards the main hall.

…

..

.

“…Not really sure what they mean as they are now.” Varric looked up as he caught the butt end of a conversation. The elven inquisitor was standing talking to Gatsi about the mosaic pieces they’d come in contact with. The elf couldn’t resist taking them along. Varric grinned to himself. Saeya was an interesting person. Everything he did was somehow adorable – well when he wasn’t wielding daggers or knives. “You get me more of them and…I’ll…try…to…” Varric looked up when he heard Gatsi trail off. The elf had walked away mid conversation. He was now examining the statue some ways away from Gatsi. Gatsi caught Varric’s eye and raised an eyebrow. Varric just grinned and shrugged.

…

..

.

Dorian’s slowly pulled his gaze away from the book in his hand to regard the person standing before him. It was the elf inquisitor. He was staring at him with wide, curious crimson eyes. Any other time, Dorian would pretend he didn’t notice the elf. Saeya would stand there sometimes and just stare at him then continue on his merry way. “Which part of my gorgeous physique has you so smitten that staring at me has become routine?” The elf jumped at the sound of his voice. His already wide eyes widening even more. Saeya was silent before he pointed at his face under his nose. “My mustache?” It was quiet until Saeya blurted out:

“Can I touch it?” Saeya asked. A slow, devilish grin spread across Dorian’s face. Silently, Dorian nodded. Saeya stepped closer to the seated mage. He stood there for a few seconds before he reached his hand out slowly – and when it was said to be slowly, it was _gruelingly slow_. Dorian quirked an amused eyebrow at how the elf inched slowly and cautiously towards him. With one finger, the elf just grazed the hair on his lip before pulling away as if he were burnt. “Its hair!” He chirped in fascination. Both of Dorian’s eyebrows rose.

“Yes. It’s called a mustache…” Dorian spoke slowly as if he were speaking to a child – hell, he probably was. He couldn’t really tell how old the elf was – any elf for that matter. The elf reached out and touched his mustache again before pulling away. He gave a low chuckle before walking away.

Dorian watched in amusement as the elf hopped over the railing – forgoing the stairs as usual.

…

..

.

Varric watched the elf walk from the rotunda. He’d heard the tell-tale “plop” of him dropping from the 2nd floor. He wondered why the elf jumped off things rather than taking stairs or ladders down. Varric grinned. “Kitten.” The elf turned to look at him curiously. “You really are like a cat.” Varric chuckled. Saeya made a noise of amusement before walking out of the main hall.

 


	3. Can't Even (n/p)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because we all know it was all in the facial hair.

**Char: Dorian, Saeya**

**Don't Touch That Button!: Many Misadventures of Da’Saeya**

**Can’t Even**

Da’Saeya had been in his chambers for most of the day. Earlier, he’d been near the forge, tinkering with a new Schematic he’d picked up for a staff. He didn’t use staves and he rarely even attempted to make them but he loved challenges. The only problem that remained was the runes.  He’d have to take it to Dagna and get her to do the finishing touches. 

With a couple more wipes with the polishing rag, Saeya held up his finished work. The staff was made from Dawnstone, giving it a glowing, purple hue. Each end of the staff was curved into a jagged hook, the top being a larger hook then the bottom. Decorating the jagged hooks were pieces of  Bloodstone which gave it an angry, red glare. There was an empty slot at both ends between the hook and staff pole where a rune would be placed.

Saeya stood up, holding the staff in both his hands as he made his way to the door. He’d need a mage’s opinion on it.

…

..

.

“Hahren,” Saeya said. He’d made his way to the rotunda to ask the elven mage his opinion. He valued Solas’ opinion above all. Solas looked up at the usual greeting he got from the younger elf. “What do you think of this?” He held up the staff and Solas let his eyes wander over the piece of metal.

“Not bad. Your work, I assume?” Solas said. Saeya nodded his head vigorously. 

“Its a present! Gonna put fire runes in it!” 

“For whom?” Solas raised an eyebrow. There really was no point in asking. There were only 3 mages Da’Saeya ever conversed with and 2 of those 3 used ice based attacks. The only mage that used Fire was Dorian.

“Dorian.” Saeya looked up towards the library. “He was kind of sad when his broke so I thought I’d make him a new one. A better one than that thing he bought from Val Royeaux.”

“I am positive he will love it.” 

Da’Saeya brought his gaze back to Solas and nodded. “I’m gonna show it to him now!”

Solas could practically hear the beaming smile in the elf’s voice.

“I’ll be here if you need anything else.” Solas watched the younger elf nod then all but skip towards the stairway to the library. Solas raised an amused eyebrow. “Interesting…”

…

..

.

Saeya held the staff behind his back as he walked. It didn’t really help much of hiding the staff since the staff was taller than he was. He came upon the Tevinter mage in his usual spot of browsing the bookcases. “Dorian, I have a surprise for you!”

“Do you, now? I hope its not another book about Tevinter. There is so much misinformation that I can take in a day, you know,” Dorian said without taking his gaze away from the bookshelf.

“No. It’s not a book. Look!” Saeya brought the staff in front of him and held it out with both hands gripping it horizontally. Dorian turned to regard Saeya and the elf stiffened. 

“My, would you look at that. Is that truly for me?” Dorian asked, taking the staff in his own hands. “Where did you get this from? It looks marvelously crafted! This-“ Dorian paused in his speech when he realized the elf wasn’t listening to him. He looked at the elf with a raised eyebrow. Da’Saeya’s eyes were already on the large side but now they looked impossibly large. “What? Is there something on my face?”

“Its naked!” Saeya cried. Dorian blinked slowly as he stared at the elf.

“Huh?”

“Your face is naked!”

“Ah…” Dorian rubbed his hairless face. “Well, yes, that last run in with the overgrown, fire breathing lizard did not come without consequence. It charred the hair on my face. Luckily, or unluckily however you view it, only my mustache suffered. I had to shave the entire thing off.” Dorian raised an eyebrow. “What do you think of my new look?”

There was silence as elf and human stared at each other.

“You look weird! Put it back!”

Dorian felt like slapping himself in the forehead. If physics allowed it, he knew a large sweat drop would be forming on the back of his head right about now. “It…doesn’t exactly work that way…”


End file.
